Personal Information: How much is too much?
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Kids nowadays are online all the time. Most often they are on social sites, emailing, chatting and every once and awhile doing actual homework! On most of these sites they ask for certain kinds of information about them. According to a study by Teen Angels of WiredSafety.org 75 percent of 8-t0-9-year olds share there passwords and intimate info with someone they know. Most often they are at a friends house and log-on, giving their peers access to their pages. That may be okay at the time, but what happens when that "friend" is no longer a friend and they decide to use your child's password to get into their site and post things about them.
Let your child know not to give out too much information online. We don't want them to be afraid of every little thing, but they should be careful not to give out their full name, phone number, address or passwords on the internet. This information can not only be used against them in identity theft, but can put their personal safety at risk. This information can be used by stalkers to find out where you are, as well as what your child might be doing at that moment.
Make sure your children know about the privacy controls for the different sites they go on. Have them read over the site and make sure there isn't anything they don't want someone they don't know to find out. Explain to them that if they see an email requesting their password or intimate information that this is most likely a scam and to never give out personal information. No reputable online service would ask for your password or any other type of personal information.
In this world of ever expanding technology it is easy to forget that when we think we are just updating a blog or telling a friend online about something personal, there are people out there who can access that information for their own use. McGruff Safeguard can help you to be aware of what information your children are putting online. Talk with your children today about the dangers online.
posted by Nick Carter at 12:47 PM Link to this Article
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Join the Fight
Law enforcement officers all over the country have been stepping in and taking a stand against online predators. I ran across an article the other day that I wanted to share with you. This is how it goes down, and this is why it is so important to be aware of what is happening with our kids online.
A 12-year-old girl enters an Internet chatroom. Before long, a boy about her age strikes up a conversation. He has many of the same interests, hobbies and problems with parents she does.
He suggests they talk in an instant-messaging session rather than the chatroom. She agrees, and the two exchange more messages before the boy tells her he's really a man. "I didn't want you to think I was a dork," he types.
But the girl trusts this boy-turned-man - he understands her problems, and they like the same things - so they keep trading messages. Eventually, the man's messages turn sexual, soliciting the girl….
BUILDING THE CASE
An estimated 14 million American children have access to the Internet, and of those, one in seven will be sexually solicited online, says Justin Fitzsimmons, senior attorney for the National Center for Prosecution of Child Abuse. That's two million victims, many of whom are approached just like the 12-year-old girl, he said.
Only this time, the deception went both ways. The girl is actually a police investigator who has been collecting the information from the messaging sessions to lead to the arrest and conviction of the man.
Such proactive investigation techniques were one aspect of the training sessions, said Elizabeth Cooke Cooley, a senior special agent with the South Carolina Law Enforcement Division who spoke at the training. Investigators were briefed on how to set up online profiles posing as young children for services, such as American Online Instant Messenger, and how to sound the part. A binder given to all session attendees even included a cheat sheet of online-speak terms such as omg (oh, my god) and ttyl (talk to you later).
"You have to make the 50-year-old man sound like a 12-year-old girl," said Detective Micah Smith of the Linn County (Ore.) Sheriff's Office.
But investigators don't seek out the predators; rather they just enter non-sexual, community chatrooms and wait for their profiles or screennames to catch the eye of a predator, Cooke Cooley said.
"You have to be innocent," she said. "You will be approached."
Click Here for the rest of article.
It all seems so innocent. At times, it can be. However, with the number of online predators on the rise, you can never be too safe. McGruff Safeguard is here to help ease your mind when you can’t be on the lookout 24 hours a day, seven days a week. Help join the fight against online predators.
Labels: chat room, Internet predators
posted by Nick Carter at 9:01 AM Link to this Article
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Online Pornography
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Online pornography is easier to get than ever. It is a bit alarming exactly HOW easy it is and how ANYONE can access it. As a parent, it could be hard to imagine your kids actually going to search for it, but really, if they're interested in what it's about, all they have to do is type "porn sites" into any search engine, and there it is. It takes a matter of seconds.
Some people may say that pornography is harmless, or an "art-form," however, if it were that harmless, we would not have so many people addicted to it. I had a past family member who lost numerous jobs due to this "harmless" 'addiction,' then lost his family over it. Addiction to pornography sometimes takes over people's lives and destroys them. So how can we, as parents, protect our kids from seeing this at the touch of a button?
There are multiple reasons why this is an important subject to talk about with your kids. Here is one: I have a close friend who has struggled with porn addiction. He has admitted that it has affected his relationships with women. He said he "desensitized" him. He is in a support group to help hold him accountable. He is young, unmarried, and is a very successful businessman. He also said that once you begin, it's very hard to stop. This began when he was a teenager.
One major advantage of McGruff Safeguard is that not only can you monitor what your children and teens are talking about; you can also guard what content they are able to access, therefore, we can protect them during this influential time.
I know that as a parent, it can be very uncomfortable to talk to your kids about pornography. However, if you do, at least you will have begun to open up some lines of communication on this serious matter. McGruff Safeguard is also there for you to gain awareness of potential sexual abuse problems. McGruff Safeguard can monitor any conversation about sexual addictions and report back to you. We care about the health and safety of your kids. Help us help you keep your children safe online.Labels: child pornography, Internet predators
posted by Nick Carter at 11:26 AM Link to this Article
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Does Your Teen Blog
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
When I was a teenager, I had a diary. I would write everything down in that thing. It was mind outside of my mind…my thoughts, my feelings, my frustrations. That is what it was for…to get out what was inside of me. All of my friends had them. We usually had a lock on them. AND of course, my parents would occasionally dig around and find it, and I inevitably got in trouble for something. Rarely did my folks talk to me. I usually got grounded (booooo).
Blogging is all the rage right now. It's been around for about ten years. However back when it first began, it was called journaling. Today, with online journaling…blogging…we have the ability to catch potentially dangerous activity before it actually occurs IF we pay close enough attention.
Let's take the LA Fitness shooting that took place August of this year, for example. The shooter was 48 year-old, George Sodini. Here's the deal, this is a shooting that could have been prevented. According to AOL News, "His 4,610-word Web diary appeared to be a nine-month chronology of his plans to end his misery with a shocking act of carnage at his gym. He couldn't understand why women ignored him, despite his best efforts to look nice."
I wonder how it must have felt to be that lonely. So lonely that he would take lives. So lonely that he would take his own life after. Teens go through so many emotions as they are trying to figure out where they fit in this world. They leave clues if you look. They cry out for help. I know the LA Fitness shooting is an extreme example. But it is one that demonstrates that blogs may hold clue to what is going on inside someone.
Do you know if your teen has a blog? You could do something as simple as a Google search on your child's name. McGruff Safeguard, understands that online monitoring can be tricky. We’re here to help you understand and communicate with your children and teens. Have you experienced any diary or blogging issues? How have you handled them if you have? We would love to hear from you.Labels: blogging, internet safety, social media
posted by Nick Carter at 6:32 AM Link to this Article
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The Hidden Dangers of Chat Rooms
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
When I was in middle school, chat rooms were the new thing. I had never heard of them before, but many of my friends talked about them like they were the coolest thing out there. We were just starting to use AOL for instant messaging around that time, and it was the "cool" way to talk back and forth to your friends after school.
What I didn't know was that there were hundreds, if not thousands of online chat rooms that anyone could get on and talk about a certain topic. You would just go on and randomly find interesting things, or places that your friends would be on. These weren't private rooms, anyone could join the conversation. It wasn't long before group chats turned into private instant messages from someone I didn't know in the group.
But, at the ripe old age of 14, I found out quickly how dangerous the Internet can be. Most of the people wanting to "instant message" with me, taking the conversation into a one-on-one setting, were not looking to just be friends. Inevitably, it turned sexual in nature within a few minutes. They would ask questions about what you look like, what you were into...etc. For someone who is in middle school it is hard to understand what these people were doing.
An increasing number of children are in danger of being targeted by pedophiles through chat rooms such as this, and newer venues like Social Media and even online gaming. It is a huge concern for parents with young children. Sexual predators, cyber bullies, and scammers all lurk on these sites. For young kids who are getting on the internet more and more, the chances of coming across a public chat is almost unavoidable. Some teenagers are naive to the dangers that are awaiting them in these chat rooms. They believe they are talking and interacting with other people their age. Pedophiles often lie about their age and even their motives. They want to make your child feel comfortable and even think of them as friends before beginning to see how receptive they are.
As parents we may feel overwhelmed, as if we cannot keep up with the trending technology that our children seem so skilled in. But parents can indeed be aware of the threats online and take some action to know what their children are doing online. McGruff SafeGuard simply monitors your child's conversations, allows you to see who they've been talking with, and even alerts you if the conversation turns sexual, illegal, or otherwise dangerous. Shouldn't you be informed?Labels: chat room, Internet predators, McGruff Safeguard, social media
posted by Nick Carter at 9:02 AM Link to this Article
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One Careless Word
Monday, September 21, 2009
We have all heard the talk recently about President Obama's comments on the Kanye West incident. Obama commented about what he thought of West's antics at the VMA's, which he thought was off the record. Some ABC network employee's overheard the comments, thought they were on record and tweeted about them. The tweets were later deleted, but by then it was too late. It was all over cyberspace within seconds.
It's fascinating how one little "joke" or misguided comment can blow up into something so controversial. For the president, this one comment he made in the heat of the moment, has created somewhat of a scandal for him. He soon realized the mistake and apologized, but because of the internet it was already out there for everyone to see.
This should be a lesson to us and our children. We never know who is listening, and how one careless word or thought can have a lasting effect. With YouTube, Facebook, Twitter...etc. a child can lack discretion in one minute and anyone can exploit that. People love controversy and love to play it up even though it could hurt someone.
I know almost everyone has, at one time or another, written or said something about someone or themselves that they wish they could take back. As parents we need to talk to our children about the kinds of things they talk about online. We need to help them understand the dangers of posting certain things, and how one insignificant word or post can do lasting damage to them or the people they care about.
McGruff SafeGuard can help you to keep an eye on the types of things your child is talking about online.Labels: internet safety, social media
posted by Nick Carter at 6:10 AM Link to this Article
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Predatory Agendas
Friday, September 18, 2009
When I was growing up, I screamed independence. I wanted to do it all on my own. I wanted to make my own agenda, my own friends, and have my own game with my own rules. I really don't think much has changed over the years for teens. Every generation has leaders…folks who want to do things their way and learn who they are in the process.
The biggest difference between then and now, however, is technology. And with it comes a scary playground for people who mean to do harm to our children and teens. There is much more access to people willing to do anything to entice them…money, gifts, promises…and for an independent teenager, this could be bad.
I ran across the following article and wanted to share it with you. It's called Internet Predators and their Prey. Not only does it touch on the topic of cutting, which we've previously posted on, but it also digs into Internet Predators. I wanted to share the different "Predatory Agendas" from the article. I had never seen this and thought it was interesting:
Predatory Agendas
Crisis Connections indicates that sexual predators are generally male, between 13 and 65. Many are married, although most are single, and they can be classified into four types:
• Collectors — predators who start on "static" sites collecting photos and pornography but who generally graduate to "dynamic" sites, i.e. real-time chat rooms, where they can meet potential victims and seek ways to realize their fantasies.
• Travelers — the most dangerous type, these men will go great distances to meet their prey (even other countries) to get what they want, generally sending gifts and using enticements to draw the child away from the safety of the home. They look for vulnerable lonely children who crave attention and they're quite persistent, as well as skilled. They can get a relationship going within 2-4 chats.
• Manufacturers — they distribute pornography to others and sometimes partake themselves, but are mostly in it for the money
• Chatters — they like to engage children in chat rooms and talk about sex but don't often graduate to meeting offline
The entire story can be found by clicking here.
The reason I opened up talking about self expression and independence, is because although these are healthy behaviors, they can be taken too far, especially now.
McGruff Safeguard helps to monitor potentially dangerous situations. Help us help you keep your loved ones safe.
posted by Nick Carter at 11:18 AM Link to this Article
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The Advantages of Just KNOWING
Thursday, September 17, 2009
I was having breakfast yesterday with someone I've just recently met. She is in her late 40's and has two grown (almost grown) children. One is 22 and the other is 17. We were in a pretty deep discussion about parenting teens and what life is like for many teens out there.
As we were talking about her teenage son and some of the issues they've had to deal with, she said it's been pretty tough. To give a bit of background on the family, they have a pretty solid faith-based family unit. Her daughter went to private school and seemed to have dealt with her teenage years pretty well. She was proud to report that her daughter had always had a mind of her own, didn't always "go along with" the culture that was put in her face, and made good decisions for the most part.
Her son, on the other hand, goes to public school. She said it's been harder. She is concerned with the influence that our culture has on her son, even though they do everything in their power to create a harmonious place at home. She says that many of his friends aren't the best influence, however, she prays for these kids, and cares about them on a much deeper level.
One thing sticks out to her though. Often, when the kids come to hang out at her house, they comment on how peaceful it is there. It strikes her because this is her normal…their family normal. Many children and teens don't get the luxury of a peaceful home. Many deal with all kinds of abuse on a daily basis.
The one thing I took away and wanted to share with you, is that even though we can't always control what our kids see outside, we can provide a safe haven at home, and other children can see that. My friend said she was thankful that she could love on those kids and give them a sense of peace there, even if that’s all they get.
One of the cool things about McGruff Safeguard is it allows an inside look to what's actually going on in the lives of our kids' friends too. Not only can this be a tool for our children and teens and our understanding of them, it can also help us to give back to others on a much deeper level.Labels: home life, teenagers
posted by Nick Carter at 12:04 PM Link to this Article
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Who has rights to images YOU post online?
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
I have recently started spending more time on a few of the social media sites. Twitter can be the most addicting, yet it doesn't really give out as much information as some of the others, such as Facebook (at least not yet!)
If you haven't heard of Facebook, Twitter, or MySpace you are on another planet. These are just three of many. Most likely your child is on one if not MANY of these websites. They post anything on these pages from silly photos to quizzes about themselves, which may give intimate information to anyone on the web.
When I was growing up we didn't have this kind of way to reach out to others. You had to go outside or call your friends to do something or tell them anything. Nowadays, they can just get on Facebook and not only post what they are doing right now, but post photos and videos as well. They may think that only their "friends" can see these images and information, and when and if they decide to cancel their page they will just be deleted off the web entirely. This is not what happens.
On February 4th, Facebook made a change to their Terms of Service (TOS) that raised panic among its users. All content ever uploaded on Facebook could be used, modified or even sublicensed by Facebook in every possible way - even if you quit the service. Here is what the Terms of Service (TOS) for Facebook stated as of February 4th:
You hereby grant Facebook an irrevocable, perpetual, non-exclusive, transferable, fully paid, worldwide license (with the right to sublicense) to (a) use, copy, publish, stream, store, retain, publicly perform or display, transmit, scan, reformat, modify, edit, frame, translate, excerpt, adapt, create derivative works and distribute (through multiple tiers), any User Content you (i) Post on or in connection with the Facebook Service or the promotion thereof subject only to your privacy settings or (ii) enable a user to Post, including by offering a Share Link on your website and (b) to use your name, likeness and image for any purpose, including commercial or advertising, each of (a) and (b) on or in connection with the Facebook Service or the promotion thereof.
Basically they stated that any content, whether it be photos, videos, or posts could be used by them even after you terminated your page. This understandably caused some outrage among Facebook users. Some things could be protected depending on your privacy settings, but most likely your child wouldn't have know this.
Facebook has since reverted back to its original terms of service due to the overwhelming response of its users. Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg has posted a response on the Facebook blog stating: "Trust us, we're not doing this to profit from you, it's so we are legally protected as we enable you to share content with other users and services."
Even though Facebook has since reverted the changes in their TOS previously noted, the uproar that it caused has opened peoples' eyes to the very real possibility that when something is uploaded to the internet, it may be impossible to retract. We as parents need to be aware of what our children are posting to these different sites and protect kids from unknowingly damaging their futures. Millions of people are uploading information to huge online databases, and by doing so may be opening themselves up to irreversible defamation and harmful misuse of their seemingly innocent content.
It's a very scary thing to realize. This is why we need to let our children know that what they post should not be something they don't want anyone and everyone to see. Help protect your children by learning what they are doing online. Download McGruff SafeGuard for free today.Labels: Facebook, internet laws, internet safety, McGruff Safeguard, photos, Terms of Service, TOS
posted by Nick Carter at 7:43 AM Link to this Article
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They’re Not Always "Stereotypical"
Monday, September 14, 2009
When we talk about internet predators, what first comes to mind? Some creepy looking person that puts out the kind of vibe you just sense? Do you picture a monster who has had a horrible childhood? Some disfigured face that you may believe could hurt someone? I mean, really, what do you picture?
I am close friends with someone who grew up in an abusive home. She put her own father behind bars for a number of years. He was a preacher, a father, a husband, and a man who raped his daughter every night from the time she remembers…being eight years old and didn't stop until her 16th birthday.
Predators are not always what you expect. As a matter of fact, here is an excerpt from an internet predator who chose to speak anonymously to an organization called I-Safe
You've heard all the warnings about the dangers of the Internet. Your parents may have warned you not to chat with strangers and not to give out personal information online. But are the dangers real or just the paranoia of over-protective parents and adults?
Unfortunately, the dangers are more real than even the most protective adults realize. How do I know? I was an Internet predator. Six years ago, I was arrested and convicted of attempting to meet an underage girl on line. You're probably thinking, "Yeah but that wouldn't happen to me. No way would I meet some creepy old man online. Besides, I'm too smart to fall for that.
The first misconception of that thinking is that the men that are online doing this are not all creepy looking stereotypical perverts that you would recognize right away. Most of them, like myself, are successful, family oriented men that are well respected in their communities. I was a husband, father and church going member of my community. I was the last person anyone would have expected to be involved in something like this. But the Internet is changing society in ways that we have not begun to understand and is allowing people to behave in ways they never dreamed they would.
Click here to read entire story
The most important thing you can do as a parent is to be aware that danger can sometimes lurk in the places we least expect it. Internet predators are very real and could manifest themselves anywhere. Often, they can be a master of disguise. That is why McGruff Safeguard can help monitor and keep their eyes open for any unusual behavior. Help us help you keep your kids safe.Labels: Internet predators, internet safety
posted by Nick Carter at 8:35 AM Link to this Article
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How safe are the Social Media sites?
Friday, September 11, 2009
Just the other day I was on Facebook, bored, and reading through all the "status updates"—pithy comments and thoughts posted on a whim by any of my friends—when I came across a family member’s post. The content caught my eye, and definitely gave me reason for concern.
He is a 16-year old high school boy involved with a girlfriend whom, of course, he thinks he would die for. Everything is so dramatic at that age. Apparently, he was recently suspended from school for an incident with a teacher. After reading the full contents of the note he posted to his "wall" it appears his girlfriend pushed a teacher, so then he decided to step in to defend her.
A poor choice? Maybe to a discerning adult, but the story was really less of an interest to me than the other things I found on his "wall." Vulgar language, both in the post I was reading and in the content adjacent. A small photo caught my eye, so I clicked to see more. Sure enough, there is my cousin… smoking what I only hope is tobacco. Comments on these photos and elsewhere indicate he's not only unashamed, but proud of his rebellious behavior.
I am sure that he doesn't have his parents or any of our adult family members as "Facebook friends" because he views this as his outlet to vent and let off steam. That may not a bad thing, unless you're venting about dangerous behavior, rebellion, and rule-breaking. Not to mention, when you vent on the internet nothing is private, someone can always see. Suppose the issue at school had escalated, punches thrown, battery charges, juvenile hall… it happens so fast. Could you convince a judge your son was remorseful—really just a good kid in a bad situation—when his Facebook page looks like this?
Social Media is being used more and more in real-life scenarios: court, job interviews, job performance and oversight, school discipline, etc. Does a 16-year old get it? Most often, no. They need parents to "get it" for them. That's what protecting your children is all about.
posted by Nick Carter at 1:50 PM Link to this Article
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When Depression Cuts Deep Part II
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
The other day, we introduced a dangerous practice labeled "cutting." Some of you may have heard about this trend, other may not have. Perhaps you’ve experienced it first hand, or may have had friends who have experienced it. Nevertheless, cutting is something that occurs daily for some teens and adults and can be a very dangerous practice.
Most teens who cut are dealing with some kind of pain or depression, according to kidshealth.org. Depression is a very real thing for teenagers, and has been linked to such behaviors. If you think about it, teenage years is the time where they are attempting to gain some kind of identity, dealing with multiple social situations, and let’s be honest…kids can be downright mean and nasty to each other. It can be hard, it can be challenging, and it can be depressing.
According to kidshealth.org, kids can attempt to mask pain with cutting, and although it may provide some kind of temporary relief from pain, the relief doesn't last. This is why it can become an addictive behavior. Parents, I KNOW that in our minds, we can sometimes blow it off as "stupidity" or "ridiculousness." I had the kind of parents that if they couldn't personally relate to what was happening in my life or any of my behaviors as a teen, they blew it off. My mother often said, "I would never do such a thing, so why should you?" I encourage all parents to not respond this way. Reality is in the perception of the person who has to deal with the emotions. If you blow them off or shrug off what they are going through as something that is irrelevant or unimportant, it tends to drive withdrawal rather than openness. I am only speaking from experience. Some teens may cut because they are screaming for attention.
David Rosen, MD, MPH, professor of pediatrics at the University of Michigan and director of the Section for Teenage and Young Adult Health at the University of Michigan Health Systems in Ann Arbor offered the following tips on what to watch for (via WebMD).
- Small, linear cuts. "The most typical cuts are very linear, straight line, often parallel like railroad ties carved into forearm, the upper arm, sometimes the legs," Rosen tells WebMD. "Some people cut words into themselves. If they're having body image issues, they may cut the word 'fat.' If they're having trouble at school, it may be 'stupid,' 'loser,' 'failure,' or a big 'L.' Those are the things we see pretty regularly."
- Unexplained cuts and scratches, particularly when they appear regularly. "I wish I had a nickel for every time someone says, 'The cat did it,'" says Rosen.
- Mood changes like depression or anxiety, out-of-control behavior, changes in relationships, communication, and school performance. Kids who are unable to manage day-to-day stresses of life are vulnerable to cutting, says Rosen.
If you happen to see any of these signs, I encourage you to watch closely and reach out to your teen. Perhaps using McGruff Safeguard has pointed you toward the behavior. Keep in mind, it may take some professional help, but this practice can be overcome. Spend some time with your teens, let them feel loved. At the end of the day, McGruff Safeguard is here to help you protect your children and teens.Labels: cutting, depression, teenagers, teens health
posted by Nick Carter at 2:13 PM Link to this Article
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What's the big deal? They're just games.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
My in-laws computer has been restored from virus attacks four times in the last three years. Sometimes, data was saved. Sometimes not. What could be causing such a vicious attack? Did someone open an unsafe email? Is there a hacker maliciously attacking their home network? Nope, just games.
That's right, games. Just google for "free games" and you will find 219 Million matches for your search. Each of them, no doubt, provide either a free download of an installable program, or free online games using interactive websites. Given free reign of the internet, the youngest boys in the house had already figured out how to click "I agree" and "next" buttons until the game appeared on the desktop.
What's more disturbing than the viral attacks this software opened their computer up to, however, was the way in which these games could indeed be provided for free. Someone had to develop them, program them, publish them, etc. How do they do it for free? It's simple: sell advertising.
Banner Ads are the most common form of online advertising. But unfortunately, the content is difficult to censor. See, the advertisers who utilize these games as the vehicle for placing their message in front of viewers aren't targeting six-year-old boys. Their target demographic is teenagers. I've played games with the kids before and seen ads for new CD's with objectionable titles, paid memberships to online social networks, t-shirts with raunchy humor, and on rare occasions, even soft-core pornography.
"What are you doing Dilan," mom yells from the other room. "Just playing games, Mommy," he replies. Satisfied with the innocent-sounding idea of just playing games on the computer, mom never gives it a second thought. But, unless monitored closely, your kids could be exposed to serious hidden messages and agendas when all they really bargained for was to shoot space ships or solve puzzles.
Here are some tips for avoiding dangerous games:
- Restrict install-permissions for your child's user account on your computer.
- Provide your child with a list of "bookmarked" sites that you have pre-selected for them to play on. Suggestions include: Hasbro.com or Nesquik.com
- Monitor your child's activity with McGruff SafeGuard.
Labels: Banner Ads, Games, internet safety, McGruff Safeguard, monitoring, social media, teenagers
posted by Nick Carter at 8:12 AM Link to this Article
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When Depression Cuts Deep
Saturday, September 5, 2009
 We recently talked about self-branding, and the importance of watching how our teenagers were “branding” themselves online. I would like to talk about a different kind of “branding” today. It’s called cutting, and it’s something that teens have been doing for years. According to Kidshealth.org, cutting is the act of injuring yourself on purpose with a sharp object — enough to break the skin and make it bleed. Cutting is a type of self-injury, or SI. Kids Health says most people who cut are girls, but guys self-injure, too. People who cut usually start cutting in their young teens. Some continue into adulthood.
I had friends who cut themselves in high school. And yes, most of them were girls. They were addicted to it. I tried it once. It wasn’t for me. Cutting can be serious. It can get out of control. It can cause infection, and if the cutting goes too deep, it can cause serious blood loss.
Over the next few blogs, we are going to talk about cutting. Why, where, signs, etc. Today we are going to talk about why. It can be hard to understand why people cut themselves on purpose. Cutting
is a way some people try to cope with the pain of strong emotions, intense
pressure, or upsetting relationship problems. They may be dealing with feelings
that seem too difficult to bear, or bad situations they think can't
change.
Some people cut because they feel desperate for relief from bad
feelings. People who cut may not know better ways to get relief from emotional
pain or pressure. Some people cut to express strong feelings of rage, sorrow,
rejection, desperation, longing, or emptiness.
The urge to cut might be triggered by strong feelings the person can't express — such as anger, hurt, shame, frustration, or alienation. People who cut sometimes say they feel they don't fit in or that no one understands them. A person might cut because of losing someone close or to escape a sense of emptiness. Cutting might seem like the only way to find relief or express personal pain over relationships or
rejection.
People who cut or self-injure sometimes have other mental health
problems that contribute to their emotional tension. Cutting is sometimes (but
not always) associated with depression, bipolar disorder, eating disorders,
obsessive thinking, or compulsive behaviors. It can also be a sign of mental
health problems that cause people to have trouble controlling their impulses or
to take unnecessary risks. Some people who cut themselves have problems with
drug or alcohol abuse.
Some people who cut have had a traumatic experience, such as living through abuse,
violence, or a disaster. Self-injury may feel like a way of "waking up" from a
sense of numbness after a traumatic experience. Or it may be a way of
re-inflicting the pain they went through, expressing anger over it, or trying to
get control of it. There are so many aspects of cutting. This is only scratching the surface. Do you know anyone who uses cutting as a relief? Are you a parent who has experienced YOUR own child cutting? We would love your feedback. We would also love your feedback if you have used McGruff Safeguard to recognize these issues. (image taken from Center for Parent/Youth Understanding (cpyu.org)
Labels: cutting, teens health
posted by Lindsay Manfredi at 7:25 AM Link to this Article
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True Stories: "My daughter was planning to buy cannabis..."
Thursday, September 3, 2009
As a parent, you've probably heard the phrase, "I just couldn't believe my child would..." uttered just after a child was caught abusing drugs, alcohol, or their own bodies. The fact is, while many parents are keenly aware of the vices of other kids in the community, there tends to be a blinder toward the behavior of one's own children. I know my parents had such a blinder when I was an adolescent... and I preyed on that fact.
One parent wrote candidly to us about her experience with a teenage daughter, just 14-years-old.
"I think you have to remember you will see probably lots of things that may upset you a little, as they obviously talk differently to their friends than they do at home, so I found I had to just try and focus on the bigger picture, i.e. drugs etc."
For this mom, monitoring her child with McGruff Safeguard was not a matter of enforcing strict ideologies, behavior, or personality traits agreeable to her own taste. As she stated, she fully expected to see her daughter developing a unique identity as she developed her social skills in these early teen years. And, while that freedom may be granted to a growing teenager, this mom was not going to stand idly by when evidence of more harmful behavior started to appear.
"When I first started using the service, I suppose I felt a little guilty. But after a few weeks it alerted me to the fact my daughter was planning to buy cannabis for a sleep over party she was having. I then had enough time to think things through on how I was going to handle this."
It's a tough call to know how to discipline your child for how they behave when you're not looking. But, not when they're planning to break the law because they think you're not looking, the decision was crystal clear. Mom was able to confront her child, prevent drug experimentation and a possible felony record, and most importantly: open a real dialogue with her daughter about drug use and its consequences.
To learn more about how you can get started using McGruff SafeGaurd for free, visit www.gomcgruff.com.Labels: cannabis, marijuana, McGruff Safeguard, monitoring
posted by Nick Carter at 5:48 AM Link to this Article
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Self Branding Matters
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
 I see it daily…kids with their laptops, hanging out with their friends, pulling out their iPhones and Blackberry devices, immersed in an online community. Posting comments, pictures, everyday happenings in their world, for the outside world to see. Technology has made access to pretty much anything imaginable just that much easier. Where are the boundaries when everywhere you go, you can be anywhere you want to be online? I want to expand a bit on the last blog that was written in regard to online privacy. I want to use the term branding.
I used to work for a company who placed college interns into positions with organizations. We worked with the interns on skill sets needed in sales. I was in charge of interviewing and hiring the candidates into our program. One thing I did upon hiring those I thought would be a good fit in the company was teach them how to dress, interview, and research. However, another one of the most important things I did was educate these up and comers in the business world, the importance of self-branding. Often we think of branding as a business-related term. Business has brands, labels, etc. Well, with Myspace, Facebook, and the hundreds of other social media platforms available, people are “ branding” themselves every day…and some don’t even realize it. This is extremely important to know.
Companies and organizations get this. They check you out, see what you’re about, what kind of image you portray online, and can very well decide whether or not to interview you or whether or not to hire you, based upon what they see. The photos, the images, the bumper stickers…these all tell a story.
The other day, I posted something on my Facebook page. Someone posted a comment that was completely inappropriate and I immediately deleted it and removed that person from my friends. How I look online matters. My brand matters. Now, we have the responsibility to share this with our kids. It would be valuable to them if we monitored what they do and post online because it MATTERS. This is why McGruff Safeguard is such a usable tool...to keep you posted on what your kids are doing and how they are “branding” themselves. It could make or break them in the future. Labels: Blackberry, branding, Interns, interviewing, iPhone, McGruff Safeguard, social media
posted by Lindsay Manfredi at 11:50 AM Link to this Article
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Protecting your Child's Privacy Online
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
When my brother and I were younger, our parents belonged to a small social club in the tiny one-horse town where we grew up. Every so often, all the families would meet for dinner at the Lions Club lodge in town. At one such meeting, my brother, all of 3 years old at the time, was being particularly restless in his seat. One parent teased, "What's the matter, you got ants in your pants?" A few people chuckled and conversation went on... until a few moments later when mom turned around to find my brother, pants to his ankles, examining carefully to find these ants that must be there somewhere.
That story was funny from the moment it happened (and as you can imagine, my brother would prefer it be forgotten today). At three years old, children have little regard for their privacy and even less grasp on the far-reaching impact this little event would have for the decades to come. It seems nobody is capable of forgetting that story even today.
What we need to remember in the Internet age is that teens aren't altogether more astute as to the far-reaching impact of their actions. They may not even have an altogether higher sense of privacy than my brother did at three. But, what should be most concerning is this: the social network of those who may be on-lookers is infinitely larger than the quaint pot-luck dinner in our tiny town lodge.
My brother would never have dreamed that at the age of 31, old ladies around town would still remember that cute little boy who took a joke too literally. Does your teenager know how far-reaching the Internet community can be, and how permanent a mark can be made? Emotions posted on a Facebook wall, a careless remark in a Twitter feed, or even a indiscreet photo displayed on a MySpace page... all of these have the instant capability reach millions of viewers and to follow a teen into adulthood with consequences no child could foresee.
Mom laughed out loud (or LOL, if you will) as she redressed her totally oblivious son. No harm done and a great story to tell at family dinners. Are you there, at the social gatherings of today's Internet community? McGruff SafeGuard allows parents to "be there" to watch, see what their kids are up to, and keep them from dangers that they may never even know are ahead.Labels: children safety, Facebook, internet safety, McGruff Safeguard, monitoring, online parenting, photos, privacy, sexting, teenagers
posted by Nick Carter at 5:49 AM Link to this Article
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