True Stories: Stopping an Abusive Relationship

Monday, October 19, 2009

We recently wrote a blog post about getting into abusive relationships. This is a true story that shares the importance of McGruff Safeguard to one family. This family was able to use the conversations they retrieved through the service to not only grow closer to their daughter, but to help another family reach out to their son.

I got this product after my daughter started talking to a new boy at school.
He was supposed to be a really nice boy, a preacher’s son. But the language he
used was horrible. He wanted to meet her and spend some time with her without
her parents knowing.
My daughter volunteers at an elementary school after she is done with high
school. The boy wanted my daughter to meet him after school to get to know her
better. They decided it would be a good idea to not tell their parents.
The boy is 18 years old and my daughter is 16 years old. I found out through the
service, not only that they were going to meet, but where they were going to
meet.
After that and after reading the horrible things he said to her, I printed
the conversations out and gave them to his father. I also let the boy know
before I gave his parents the conversations that I knew what he was saying to my
daughter.
I find peace of mind because my daughter has been diagnosed with depression,
and she doesn’t always tell me or the therapist what is really on her mind. I
use the information from her conversations to gently touch on subjects with her
that she would not normally bring up with me. It has been a great way to open
the line of communication between us. She doesn’t know I use this, and I don’t
want her to think I am prying into her private life. However, she has grown
closer to us as she feels that we really do know how she feels. We can help
offer help for issues that she needs a little guidance in. I love this service
and highly recommend it to anyone with kids.

It can be hard for a parent to know up front whether their kids are hanging out with kids that are good for them. In this story, we found out that just because your child or teen is involved with a “preacher’s son” doesn’t necessarily mean they are immune to hurt or abuse. McGruff Safeguard is here to keep you on alert when you just don’t know. Here’s to fostering conversation with your kids.

Labels: abuse, McGruff Safeguard, relationships

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posted by Lindsay Manfredi at 9:47 AM Link to this Article 0 Comments

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Mind Games

Monday, October 5, 2009

I was talking to my friend last night about our teenage years. We were discussing some of the things we went through as individuals and what we went through with our friends and girl/boyfriends. When she was in high school, she was in a very abusive relationship. She tells me this story and I asked her if I could share it with you because of its prevalence in teenage relationships today.

My friend met Kevin when she was 17 years-old. She was a junior in high school. However, she didn't meet him AT high school. She met him at a Narcotics Anonymous meeting. She had been getting involved in drugs, had run away from home, and was often in juvenile detention because of her rebellion. As a result of all the trouble she had been in, her parents put her through a drug and alcohol treatment center. She then had to attend NA meetings. After she met him and spent time with him, they began dating, and she thought she fell in love.

After a few months, she noticed that she never hung out with any of the people she used to. He wanted to spend all his time with her and became upset if she did anything outside that didn't include him. To her, this was sweet because it meant he really "cared." She didn't recognize the signs of this controlling relationship. A few months after that, they became sexually involved. He became verbally abusive, got mad when she did other things, and eventually started "pushing" her around. She knew this wasn't right, but once again, she thought she was in love. It wasn't until after she was finally sick of him being a jerk that she tried to break things off. When she did, he came to her parent's home and threatened to kill himself. He was beating on the door, threatening her as well. The garage door was open and although she had locked all the doors, he was in the garage and had taken the phone off the hook so she was unable to call the police. Thankfully, the doors held up and her parents eventually came home. She filed a restraining order and never saw him again.

I tell you this story because often, when teens think they've fallen in love, it can cloud their judgment. They may not be able to see that their girl/boyfriend is showing signs of potentially dangerous behavior. Because teens do so much of their communication online, these signs are much easily detectable. McGruff Safeguard can follow conversations and keep parents informed on questionable matters and communication. That way, you can be aware of the relationship and help assist your teen in gaining a higher sense of themselves to understand that jealous and violent behavior is wrong and unacceptable.

We want to help you protect your children and teens. Monitoring what is going on in their relationships is one way we can look out when you're not able to.

Labels: abuse, internet safety, online parenting