We have posted many articles about bullying via texts and social media platforms such as Facebook and Myspace. We have heard of a few teen suicide stories which these platforms have been a launch pad of emotional abuse. Here’s one more to add to it. One thing we need to keep in mind as parents is that our kids don’t think like we do. Some things we understand, which only come with growth and maturity, are far out of the scope of the “everyday reality” that our kids face on and offline.
Phoebe Prince is yet another example of why it’s so important to get in touch with that reality…their reality. According to the Boston Globe, Prince had been a victim of both bullying and cyber bullying, which authorities believed may have prompted the 15 year-old to take her life.
Prince and her family moved to Western Massachusetts last year from a small village in west Ireland. Last fall, she enrolled at South Hadley High School which has a student body of approximately 700 students.
“In a school with that many kids, there are going to be issues,’’ Sergeant Robert Whelihan, a spokesman for the South Hadley Police Department said yesterday. “We are investigating what effects the bullying might have had on the suicide.’’
The bullying included disagreements over teen romances at school, school officials said. And it continued with taunting text messages and harassing postings on Facebook, the popular social networking site.
“The real problem now is the texting stuff and the cyber-bullying,’’ said South Hadley School Superintendent Gus A. Sayer. “Some kids can be very mean towards one another using that medium.’’
You may think to yourself, “Well, if my son/daughter were having issues with other kids, they would surely let me know.” Unfortunately, this is not always the case. They may feel embarrassed, disconnected, or ashamed of what is happening. There are lots of reasons kids don’t communicate as we do. They’re kids. If they knew any differently, they probably would.
That’s why it’s important to know what is happening behind the scenes. McGruff Safeguard is about keeping those you care about safe. It’s about giving you the information necessary to facilitate conversation.
Could this suicide have avoided? I absolutely think so. There is a whole mess of stuff that happens that we don’t know about. If your kids are being cyber bullied…that’s one thing we can alert you on. Then, you have an inside look as to what your kids are going through. Download McGruff Safeguard today. It can definitely make you aware, and it may help save a life.
It’s that time of year again. The time where you reflect on the past year and look to see what mistakes you’ve made and how you could do things differently from now on. Did you have any frustrations with your kids and their online behavior? Did anyone in your family a victim of cyber bullying? Did you feel like you had a sense of control only to realize things weren’t as they seemed? Parenting in the year 2010 will have its challenges, especially when it comes to monitoring the online behavior of your teens.
We want to give a couple of tips for making this year safe for your kids/teens online:
Consider installing McGruff Safeguard on all the computers in your house that your kids are on - McGruff Safeguard and help monitor conversations that are taking place online and will alert you if there is any suspicion of abusive behavior. Whether it is sneaking out, drugs, sexual abuse, or cyber bullying. If you are aware of what is going on in the lives of your kids, it opens up a door for discussion. With it being so difficult growing up and learning how to do things for yourself, kids often hold back any feelings of hurt or concern. If you know what is going on with them, knowing helps facilitate conversation.
Be open with your teens – Always remember that growing up is never easy. When you approach a subject out of love rather than judgment, people have a natural inclination to open up versus coming at them harsh and watching them shut down. I have so much personal experience in this area. My parents were very hard on me and very judgmental over what I did that was not up to their approval. Know that your teens are going to make mistakes and do stupid things. I believe that’s part of the growing process. However, boundaries are important. And explaining the “why’s” can help them to understand a little better.
Know who your kids are hanging out with – Sometimes the people who you think are a negative influence on your kids are the ones who you can make the biggest impact with. When you have McGruff Safeguard on your computers, at least you can see what they’re not always telling you. If you use a service like this for the good, everyone can benefit from various lessons learned.
Talk to your kids about online predators and cyber bullying– If you need to show them different stories of victims and people, do it. Be sure to let them know that that not everyone they come in contact with online is who they say they are. There have been multiple stories in the past year of this. It’s important for them to be safe with how much information they share on their online profiles and such.
If you have any questions about any of these things, we’re here to help. Please keep sending us your stories. We wish you a wonderful and safe New Years. Here’s to making a positive change this year.
Last night, I was watching an episode of Lie To Me with actor, Tim Roth. In this episode, a video was made by a girl that was being bullied by her classmates. What made things tricky was that the bullying was encouraged by the gym teacher that this girl trusted. The "trusted teacher" was provoking her classmates to bully her. The video that was made expressed violence toward others, however, the violence was actually what she wished upon herself. She then attempted suicide. In the end, they caught the suicide attempt in time. She survived and worked up the courage to confront the students as well as the teacher.
I bring this example to you because this happens more often than we think. A few weeks back, we posted a video on the intensity of cyberbullying. Here are some mid-blowing statistics on this issue that we wanted to bring to you in regard to technology that folks are using today in order to hurt other people.
• According to the National Crime Prevention Center, more than 40 percent of all teenagers with Internet access have reported being bullied online during the past year.
• Girls are more likely than boys to be the target of cyber-bullying. Also, there is a direct correlation to the amount of time girls spend online and the likelihood that they will be bullied.
• The National Crime Prevention Center study found that only 10 percent of those kids who were bullied told their parents about the incident, and that a mere 18 percent of the cases were reported to a local or national law enforcement agency.
• According to a recent study, 58 percent of fourth- through eighth-graders reported having mean or cruel things said to them online. 53 percent said they have said mean or hurtful things to others while online. 42 percent of those studied said that they had been “bullied online,” but almost 60 percent have never told their parents about the incident.
• Cell phone cameras and digital cameras are a growing problem in the cyber-bullying world. A recent survey found that 10 percent of 770 young people surveyed were made to feel “threatened, embarrassed or uncomfortable” by a photo taken of them using a cell-phone camera.
This is alarming. Imagine your child being the target of intentional cruelty. And the sad part is that often, kids don’t want to tell anyone. Usually out of fear or embarrassment. As a result, they are dealing with these huge issues that kids really shouldn’t have to deal with.
Going back to the episode of Lie ToMe, the popular girl who was doing the bullying didn’t really want to do it. She felt pressured by her peers and by a teacher whom she looked up to. This leads me to believe that WE can help influence our kids through conversation, IF we know what is actually happening in their lives. McGruff Safeguard is a key way to monitor your kids, whether they are the victim, or the bully. You can be a part of the solution. As the old saying says, “It takes a village” to raise a child. Help us help you keep your children safe.
I found this video I wanted to share with you. It tells a story. It actually tells a couple of stories. One of the first issues we presented to you when we began to blog was cyber-bullying. According to the web definition, cyber-bullying is bullying which is carried out through an internet service such as email, chat room, discussion group or instant messaging. It can also include bullying through mobile phone technologies such as short message services (SMS). It is a real issue. Please take a few minutes to view the video.
Cyber-bullying is a serious issue. Suicide is a serious issue. Can you imagine an entire audience watching as your child committed suicide online? Consider McGruff Safeguard today if you haven’t begun using it. There are a lot of scary things out there, and you can never be too careful. Help us help you protect your loved ones.
True Stories: "They started saying things to her that were sexual and degrading..."
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
One of the themes that comes up so often in the discussion of online parenting, protection, and especially monitoring is the unpalatable idea of "snooping" or spying. McGruff SafeGuard is a tool that gives parents insights into their child's activity online, but not for the mere sake of "gotcha's" or a covert sting operation. As one parent writes, "I do not feel like I am invading her privacy because there are so many issues that come up and need to be discussed in today's society."
This parent, like many parents, was not questioning her daughter's integrity. She did not want to invade privacy. This parent wanted to be a good parent--protecting her child from the dangers which might go otherwise unnoticed in the secret realms of social media.
"The service is great! I had a couple incidences with my 14 year old daughter. There were boys at her school that she was friends with and they started to say things to her that were sexual and degrading. I was glad I had the opportunity to view the comments to let my daughter know that what they were saying was disrespectful and that "no boy or man" has a right to talk to any girl the way they did."
When your young teen daughter begins to get unwanted attention from men, there are lots of emotions that can come up. Many times, the child does not feel empowered to tell an authority, as the evil of "tattling" is so ingrained in our early childhood minds. Or, more often, the embarrassment of it all prevents an emotionally fragile teen from talking.
With McGruff SafeGuard, however, this parent was able to see the perverted advances of her classmates and reaffirm her daughter's self-esteem. "No boy or man has a right to talk to any girl the way they did," the mother explained. The mother continued:
"I do not feel like I am invading her privacy because there are so many issues that come up and need to be discussed in today's society. I did, however, tell my daughter that I have the service and that it alerts me to sexual content via email. The service is the most important thing a parent should have if they allow their child freedom on the internet."
This mother chose to let her daughter know she was watching--that if anything came up that might endanger the young girl, that Mommy would be there to protect her. After all, isn't that what our children should know about us as parents? Not that we will be there to bust them, but that we are there to protect them.
Have you ever heard of the term “cyberbullying?” If you have heard of this term, have you ever wondered whether your child may be either a victim or a bully him/herself? Perhaps they don’t even know what it means.Perhaps you don't. And that’s okay. Let me give you an example.
Do you remember the story of the Megan Meier, the 13-year old from Dardenne Prairie, MO who committed suicide over an online hoax? Meier suffered from depression and a mild case of ADD, according to the story reported on FoxNews.com. Megan had become friends with a boy named Josh through the social networking site, Myspace. She had an online relationship with Josh for over a month before he abruptly cut off their friendship by saying “I don’t know if I want to be friends with you anymore because I heard you are not nice to your friends.” She killed herself the next day. The shocker was that the boy never existed. He was a made-up character that a neighborhood family invented and one of the members included one of Megan’s old friends.
Although this is an extreme case, cyberbulling is something that occurs on a daily basis. According to Stopcyberbulling.org, “Cyberbullying" is when a child, preteen or teen is tormented, threatened, harassed, humiliated, embarrassed or otherwise targeted by another child, preteen or teen using the Internet, interactive and digital technologies or mobile phones. It has to have a minor on both sides, or at least have been instigated by a minor against another minor. Once adults become involved, it is plain and simple cyber-harassment or cyberstalking. Adult cyber-harassment or cyberstalking is NEVER called cyberbullying.
Were you ever bullied in school? I was. I think it could be safe to say that most schools have a couple of bigger and meaner kids who, for whatever reason, think it’s okay to bully. When I was in school, I would get mean notes or dirty looks. So, it makes sense that this would happen by the same types of bullies, only online. Can we completely protect our children from this? I don’t think we can. What we CAN do however, is be aware that cyberbullying exists, know what it means, and know what we could perhaps look out for. We can educate our kids and report the behavior to the local school or authorities. We can also monitor our children’s online activity through McGruff Safeguard.
No parent wants to believe their kids are affected or an initiator of cyberbullying. Perhaps with some conversation and monitoring, we can all help with education of internet safety. If you have children who spend time online, I encourage you to sit down with them and have a conversation about cyberbullying. Please share your thoughts, opinions, or experiences with children and cyberbullying.
