Parental Reality Check
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
 I had the opportunity to interview an anonymous 16 year-old girl today for this blog. I really wanted to get to the heart of what teens are going through right now, see who or if they KNOW who they are talking to online, and share with you a new cyber law that New York just passed today. Let’s begin with my interviewee, *Kate. (not her real name)
Kate is from a city in Mississippi. She is a junior in a public high school. She is on Facebook, Myspace, and Tagged. Tagged.com is another global social site that I was not aware of until today. It is yet another version of the aforementioned social sites.
I asked Kate strait up if she was sexually active. She said she was not however she was the only one of her friends that was still a virgin. She said most of them became sexually active at 14 and 15 years-old. She said her religious views are what had kept her from crossing that line. Some of her friends also had the same belief system as she did, but that it didn’t stop them. She did say that she talks to boys often on the sites she is on, and it’s a way for her to meet new people around the area she is in.
I asked her if she had ever used these sites to sneak around, and if her parents monitored her use. She told me her mother asks her who she is talking to sometimes, but she just replies that she is talking to her friends. She sometimes lets her mother know if she is talking to a boy, but it depends on who it is. She also opened up and told me she doesn’t worry about her parents snooping around so much because she has these applications on her phone. She just gets on the sites there. She does still use her computer though. She just logs out of her accounts and email and keeps her passwords safe. (Please keep in mind that she had no idea what the interview was for with the exception of her knowing I was doing a piece on teens and social network/media sites.)
When I asked her if she regularly visited chat rooms…she had. She even had to go so far as to “de-friend” or “un-friend” (the act of taking someone off your “friend” list so they can no longer have access to your site.) someone because he was making sexual remarks and advances toward her. She said it “freaked” her out a bit. Kate has over 2000 Facebook friends, most of which she does not know, all of which can see ALL of her information. Here’s is a serious realty though when it comes to having all of these FB friends which you do not know: Just today, in New York, Attorney General Andrew Cuomo announced that more than 3,500 registered New York state sex offenders have been purged from social networking sites Facebook and MySpace in the first database sweep since the state’s new Electronic Securing and Targeting of Online Predators Act (“e-STOP”) went into effect. 3500 registered sex offenders!!!! And that is only ONE state!
It is IMPERITIVE to KNOW what the conversation is about. Most sexual predators know how to lure and say just the right things. They know where your kids and teens are. They play in the same space!
We are going to talk more about the new laws coming out in later posts and will always keep you up-to-date on the newest ones. It’s not just about what your teens are up to and have going on in their life, it’s about protecting them from those who want to destroy their lives. With all of the peer pressure and sexualiztion of today's society, it's not easy for them. And it's a parental reality check for us on many different levels. Know where they are. Know what they go though. McGruff Safeguard is free. Download it today. Help us help you keep your loved ones safe. Labels: chat room, Cuomo, e-Stop Act, Facebook, interviewing, McGruff Safeguard, monitoring, myspace, Sex Offenders, Tagged
posted by Lindsay Manfredi at 7:01 PM Link to this Article
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Safe Internet Alliance Panel - Confronting Internet Risks Today
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
The Safe Internet Alliance is hosting a panel discussion today (in about 15 minutes, actually) called the "Framework for a Safe Internet." The conference will host a veritable who's who of Internet moguls--representing giants like Yahoo, Verizon, Microsoft, and AOL--in a series of panels each focused on maintaining a safe Internet for ourselves and our children. Marty Schultz, Chief Safety Officer at McGruff SafeGuard, is also preparing to share today on a panel about confronting Internet risks today. I thought I'd share with our readers a sneak peak at the discussion to ensue in a few hours.
The bottom line: the world is a dangerous place. Ergo, the Internet is a dangerous place. It's simple logic. Unfortunately, however, it's not always so simple to see. The dangers in this world that we as parents grew up with are still there--everything from scraped knees to busy streets, and even ill-willed perpetrators and pedophiles. So, as your child rests comfortably in a desk chair staring at a computer, isn't he or she protected? No.
Here is the mental shift we as parents must make: logging on is tantamount to heading out. Your child, though physically present in your home, is socially traveling the world and encountering a host of new, and also not-so-new dangers. The risks have changed, but the principal is unchanged: the world is dangerous. We must protect our children!
But don't the ISP's, social network policies, and federal regulations keep the internet relatively safe for my kid? They try. But, at a park near a busy street, do you trust the town's police force to keep your kid from darting into traffic? No. They post signs, "children at play," and the like--but ultimately, the role of protecting the next generation falls squarely on the parents.
The only tried-and-true method for keeping kids safe is for parents to accept their responsibility to know what their kids are doing. The only way to do this online is for parents to know not just where their children go online, but what they do when they get there, what they talk about, and to whom they talk. If your child is at the park, that seems safe enough. But if they're over by the bushes talking to the shadowy figure with an eerie look to him--you just might want to know that. You just might need to step in and protect your innocent child from the dangers he or she might not yet understand.
At McGruff SafeGuard, protecting children online is our first objective. If it means speaking at a thousand panels just like today's, we'll be there. We also want to empower every parent to do their part. Learn about our free internet monitoring tool and consider downloading it today.Labels: internet safety, McGruff Safeguard, monitoring, online parenting, Safe Internet Alliance
posted by Nick Carter at 5:43 AM Link to this Article
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Rapid-Fire Social Media
Friday, October 9, 2009
Do you know how many social networking sites your children post things on? There are hundreds of sites online that cater to connecting YOU with not only friends, but anyone on the internet. Many people now have more than one place that they go online to post comments and photos. I myself have Facebook, Linkedin, and Twitter, just three of the many.
Recently I heard of a new site called Ping.fm, which is like a one stop shop for posting to all these sites simultaneously. It's a free social networking web site the lets users post a message in one place and post to all of their social sites. This way you don't have to go to each media site that you have and post your message separately. Ping.fm groups services into three categories - status updates, blogs and micro-blogs - and can update to each group. Ping.fm currently supports more than 30 services. Once you've set up a Ping.fm account and added your information for the services you use, you are ready to return to your dashboard to start sending out messages to all your profiles at once. Sounds amazing, right?
While this service may seem fantastic, it is a little scary how easy it is to post things on the internet and have that info syndicated everywhere. With ping.fm your child can just post one thing to all their multiple social sites with ease. A time-saving trick? Sure, but all it takes is one careless word and this site amplifies that word 30 times over. This is a great example of how, with the web, great freedoms bring great responsibility.
The web is becoming easier and easier to use and your child or teen may not realize the risk that is out there. McGruff Safeguard can help you to make sure your children are safe while online.Labels: monitoring, ping.fm, social media
posted by Nick Carter at 5:58 AM Link to this Article
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True Stories: "They started saying things to her that were sexual and degrading..."
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
One of the themes that comes up so often in the discussion of online parenting, protection, and especially monitoring is the unpalatable idea of "snooping" or spying. McGruff SafeGuard is a tool that gives parents insights into their child's activity online, but not for the mere sake of "gotcha's" or a covert sting operation. As one parent writes, "I do not feel like I am invading her privacy because there are so many issues that come up and need to be discussed in today's society."
This parent, like many parents, was not questioning her daughter's integrity. She did not want to invade privacy. This parent wanted to be a good parent--protecting her child from the dangers which might go otherwise unnoticed in the secret realms of social media.
"The service is great! I had a couple incidences with my 14 year old daughter. There were boys at her school that she was friends with and they started to say things to her that were sexual and degrading. I was glad I had the opportunity to view the comments to let my daughter know that what they were saying was disrespectful and that "no boy or man" has a right to talk to any girl the way they did."
When your young teen daughter begins to get unwanted attention from men, there are lots of emotions that can come up. Many times, the child does not feel empowered to tell an authority, as the evil of "tattling" is so ingrained in our early childhood minds. Or, more often, the embarrassment of it all prevents an emotionally fragile teen from talking.
With McGruff SafeGuard, however, this parent was able to see the perverted advances of her classmates and reaffirm her daughter's self-esteem. "No boy or man has a right to talk to any girl the way they did," the mother explained. The mother continued:
"I do not feel like I am invading her privacy because there are so many issues that come up and need to be discussed in today's society. I did, however, tell my daughter that I have the service and that it alerts me to sexual content via email. The service is the most important thing a parent should have if they allow their child freedom on the internet."
This mother chose to let her daughter know she was watching--that if anything came up that might endanger the young girl, that Mommy would be there to protect her. After all, isn't that what our children should know about us as parents? Not that we will be there to bust them, but that we are there to protect them.Labels: children safety, cyberbulling, internet safety, McGruff Safeguard, monitoring, online parenting, teenagers, True Stories
posted by Nick Carter at 6:12 AM Link to this Article
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What's the big deal? They're just games.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
My in-laws computer has been restored from virus attacks four times in the last three years. Sometimes, data was saved. Sometimes not. What could be causing such a vicious attack? Did someone open an unsafe email? Is there a hacker maliciously attacking their home network? Nope, just games.
That's right, games. Just google for "free games" and you will find 219 Million matches for your search. Each of them, no doubt, provide either a free download of an installable program, or free online games using interactive websites. Given free reign of the internet, the youngest boys in the house had already figured out how to click "I agree" and "next" buttons until the game appeared on the desktop.
What's more disturbing than the viral attacks this software opened their computer up to, however, was the way in which these games could indeed be provided for free. Someone had to develop them, program them, publish them, etc. How do they do it for free? It's simple: sell advertising.
Banner Ads are the most common form of online advertising. But unfortunately, the content is difficult to censor. See, the advertisers who utilize these games as the vehicle for placing their message in front of viewers aren't targeting six-year-old boys. Their target demographic is teenagers. I've played games with the kids before and seen ads for new CD's with objectionable titles, paid memberships to online social networks, t-shirts with raunchy humor, and on rare occasions, even soft-core pornography.
"What are you doing Dilan," mom yells from the other room. "Just playing games, Mommy," he replies. Satisfied with the innocent-sounding idea of just playing games on the computer, mom never gives it a second thought. But, unless monitored closely, your kids could be exposed to serious hidden messages and agendas when all they really bargained for was to shoot space ships or solve puzzles.
Here are some tips for avoiding dangerous games:
- Restrict install-permissions for your child's user account on your computer.
- Provide your child with a list of "bookmarked" sites that you have pre-selected for them to play on. Suggestions include: Hasbro.com or Nesquik.com
- Monitor your child's activity with McGruff SafeGuard.
Labels: Banner Ads, Games, internet safety, McGruff Safeguard, monitoring, social media, teenagers
posted by Nick Carter at 8:12 AM Link to this Article
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True Stories: "My daughter was planning to buy cannabis..."
Thursday, September 3, 2009
As a parent, you've probably heard the phrase, "I just couldn't believe my child would..." uttered just after a child was caught abusing drugs, alcohol, or their own bodies. The fact is, while many parents are keenly aware of the vices of other kids in the community, there tends to be a blinder toward the behavior of one's own children. I know my parents had such a blinder when I was an adolescent... and I preyed on that fact.
One parent wrote candidly to us about her experience with a teenage daughter, just 14-years-old.
"I think you have to remember you will see probably lots of things that may upset you a little, as they obviously talk differently to their friends than they do at home, so I found I had to just try and focus on the bigger picture, i.e. drugs etc."
For this mom, monitoring her child with McGruff Safeguard was not a matter of enforcing strict ideologies, behavior, or personality traits agreeable to her own taste. As she stated, she fully expected to see her daughter developing a unique identity as she developed her social skills in these early teen years. And, while that freedom may be granted to a growing teenager, this mom was not going to stand idly by when evidence of more harmful behavior started to appear.
"When I first started using the service, I suppose I felt a little guilty. But after a few weeks it alerted me to the fact my daughter was planning to buy cannabis for a sleep over party she was having. I then had enough time to think things through on how I was going to handle this."
It's a tough call to know how to discipline your child for how they behave when you're not looking. But, not when they're planning to break the law because they think you're not looking, the decision was crystal clear. Mom was able to confront her child, prevent drug experimentation and a possible felony record, and most importantly: open a real dialogue with her daughter about drug use and its consequences.
To learn more about how you can get started using McGruff SafeGaurd for free, visit www.gomcgruff.com.Labels: cannabis, marijuana, McGruff Safeguard, monitoring
posted by Nick Carter at 5:48 AM Link to this Article
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Protecting your Child's Privacy Online
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
When my brother and I were younger, our parents belonged to a small social club in the tiny one-horse town where we grew up. Every so often, all the families would meet for dinner at the Lions Club lodge in town. At one such meeting, my brother, all of 3 years old at the time, was being particularly restless in his seat. One parent teased, "What's the matter, you got ants in your pants?" A few people chuckled and conversation went on... until a few moments later when mom turned around to find my brother, pants to his ankles, examining carefully to find these ants that must be there somewhere.
That story was funny from the moment it happened (and as you can imagine, my brother would prefer it be forgotten today). At three years old, children have little regard for their privacy and even less grasp on the far-reaching impact this little event would have for the decades to come. It seems nobody is capable of forgetting that story even today.
What we need to remember in the Internet age is that teens aren't altogether more astute as to the far-reaching impact of their actions. They may not even have an altogether higher sense of privacy than my brother did at three. But, what should be most concerning is this: the social network of those who may be on-lookers is infinitely larger than the quaint pot-luck dinner in our tiny town lodge.
My brother would never have dreamed that at the age of 31, old ladies around town would still remember that cute little boy who took a joke too literally. Does your teenager know how far-reaching the Internet community can be, and how permanent a mark can be made? Emotions posted on a Facebook wall, a careless remark in a Twitter feed, or even a indiscreet photo displayed on a MySpace page... all of these have the instant capability reach millions of viewers and to follow a teen into adulthood with consequences no child could foresee.
Mom laughed out loud (or LOL, if you will) as she redressed her totally oblivious son. No harm done and a great story to tell at family dinners. Are you there, at the social gatherings of today's Internet community? McGruff SafeGuard allows parents to "be there" to watch, see what their kids are up to, and keep them from dangers that they may never even know are ahead.Labels: children safety, Facebook, internet safety, McGruff Safeguard, monitoring, online parenting, photos, privacy, sexting, teenagers
posted by Nick Carter at 5:49 AM Link to this Article
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I'm the parent. I make the rules.
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
When I was a teenager, I save up money to buy my first car. I worked a job before I was sixteen, riding my bike back and forth, and I even built my own herd of cattle (yes, I'm a farm-boy) which brought in some money. Now, couldn't I have just borrowed mom and dad's, or asked them to buy it for me? Sure. But I had a plan.
If I own the car, so I thought, they can't tell me what to do or not do with it. In my imagination, the ownership of the car meant they couldn't take my keys as punishment, restrict my driving privileges, or prevent me from certain activities on the weekend just by denying access to borrow a vehicle. Ah, yes, I was going to free myself from their rule.
I still remember when dad, a stern disciplinarian, brought that rule crashing down on me. I was told not to do something. I directly disobeyed. In our house, that was a cardinal offense. Since the deed had to do with the car, he promptly took the keys. "You can't do that," I exclaimed.
"I'm the parent. I make the rules." He didn't have to think too hard for that reply.
The fact is, at sixteen, the most loving thing Dad could do for me was not to let me do everything I wanted. Now, it took me about a decade to reach that understanding, but it happened nonetheless. I was a kid. I was irresponsible. I made bad decisions. So, my parents helped me learn what good decisions were, what responsibility was, and how to become an adult.
Gillian Shaw recently reported Online Spying is an Aid to Parents. A provocative title, no doubt, but her point was loud and clear. Children aren't ready to fly without a net on the internet. They have far too much propensity to harm themselves or others, sometimes irreparably. And, just as having my own car didn't free me from my parent's supervision, a child's own laptop, cell phone, email address, or social media identity should not be their ticket to total independence.
In her article, Shaw references internet monitoring tools she calls "cyber-sleuthing software for parents." In other words, knowing what your kid is up to. Is your teen permitted to drive wherever they want? Can they take a road-trip to Cancun on a whim? Doubtful. So, what are they doing online? McGruff SafeGuard can help you know, so you can be the parent and make the rules.Labels: McGruff Safeguard, monitoring, online parenting, teenagers
posted by Nick Carter at 9:41 AM Link to this Article
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True Stories: "Before it's too late..."
Friday, August 21, 2009
There is a lot of fear involved in parenting. As we talk about protecting children, it's easy to focus on all the dangers that exist. Predators, drugs, violence, profanity, immorality, teen pregnancy, depression, self-destruction... I could go on, but to be truthful, I really don't want to.
Parenting isn't always about rule-setting and boundary-building. Although you wouldn't guess it from the media and the best-seller lists, there is actually more to be enjoyed and cherished as a parent than to be feared. Today's "true story" exemplifies that fact to a tee. After using McGruff SafeGuard as a parental monitoring tool, one parent wrote:
"Some of the examples you gave of how the program helped parents were pretty extreme, which is wonderful. On a much simpler note, I love being able to read about what is going on with the day to day activities of my 13 year old."
That's a breath of fresh air. As a parent, do you ever just want to get to know your child better. At thirteen, this little girl is just barely starting to become an adult. Now, she's not there yet, but a personality is developing that will be the foundation for an adult relationship for decades to come. This mother enjoyed one simple thing: she was getting to know her daughter. She was getting involved. She could pay attention. She could care about her life. She could know her.
The parent continued:
"The best thing about the program is simply being able to direct your conversations with your child about what is going on and having an intelligent two sided conversation about topics of concern. All of this is important to do before it is too late." Some day, this thirteen-year-old girl is going to be a sixteen-year-old driver, and then an eighteen-year-old college freshman, and so on. Meaningful conversations don't have to wait until they're an adult. If you feel like distance is forming... like "mom just doesn't get me" is on the back of your child's mind... maybe McGruff SafeGuard could help in one simple way: get know your child... before it's too late.Labels: McGruff Safeguard, monitoring, online parenting, teenagers, True Stories
posted by Nick Carter at 7:19 AM Link to this Article
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True Stories: "It has been a great way to open lines of communication..."
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Sixteen. That magical age when a teen somehow becomes entirely free. They blow out all sixteen candles, their brains mature instantly, their hormones stabilize, and they gain such perspective on life.... oh, and they get car keys, to boot.
We all know it doesn't work like that. But, there are challenges that arise for parents when teens suddenly gain the freedom of wheels and the empowerment to believe they are self-sufficient. Attempts to hold on tighter often backfire in rebellion. But on the contrary, unbridled freedom could leave them vulnerable to risks and dangers they cannot even imagine.
McGruff Safeguard is a monitoring tool that has helped countless parents stay in-tune with their kids activities without crossing the fuzzy boundary between concerned and controlling. One such parent tells this story:
"I got this product after my daughter started talking to a new boy at school... The boy wanted my daughter to meet him after school to get to know each other better. They also decided it would be a good idea not to tell their parents. The boy is 18 and my daughter 16. I found out through the service that they were going to meet and where."
Now, before you wonder if this is spying, intrusive, or otherwise objectionable: the story goes on to reveal that the daughter was in fact suffering from clinical depression. While undergoing counseling and with support from her parents, she wasn't improving. They just weren't able to get through to her, to relate, and to let her know they cared.
But McGruff Safeguard afforded the parents a unique insight. They began to discover that their daughter wasn't opening up. She wasn't telling anyone, the counselor included, what was hurting her, how she really felt, and what she was really thinking about life. How has McGruff Safeguard helped?
"It has been a great way to open line of communication between us. She doesn't know I use this , but I don't want her to think I am prying into her private life, but she has grown closer to us as she feels that we really do know how she feels and we can offer help for issues that she needs a little guidance in. I love this service and highly recommend it to anyone with kids." Labels: depression, McGruff Safeguard, monitoring, online parenting, teenagers, True Stories
posted by Nick Carter at 9:42 AM Link to this Article
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Internet Predators Traveling to Pennsylvania Busted
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Attorney General Tom Corbett and the state's Child Predator Unit deserves our accolade today, along with all the law enforcement teams who serve to protect our children in the increasingly cyber-active world. Corbett's team is discovering that threats to the children of the Pennsylvania communities they protect are not always local. The Internet has made it easy for predators to solicit minors from several states away, and the predators are willing to travel, it appears. But Pennsylvania has not settled for a defensive posture. The aggressive undercover work of the Child Predator Unit resulted in another arrest today, and we think that's something worth congratulating.
Today, Corbett announced the most recent arrest of one man from Ohio and an accomplice local to Reading, Penn. The two men thought they were soliciting 13-year old girls. They were wrong. Agents from the Child Predator Unit used assumed identities of underage girls and made the arrest in a suburban rendezvous.
The Gant Daily, however, reports that this arrest is the 53rd child predator arrest this year alone. Since it's inception in 2005, there have been 230 arrests to-date with an amazing 100% conviction rate. Their stings have put would-be predators behind bars from as far away as Texas and Florida. Our hats are off to you!
According to the Gant Daily's report, Corbett doesn't want to do it alone. He want's parents involved to:
"Corbett said the best defense against Internet predators is for parents to regularly discuss online safety with their children, to actively monitor their online activity and to encourage kids to immediately report any situation where strangers make sexual propositions."
So, how can you get involved? One way to get started is with McGruff SafeGuard's free monitoring tool. But more than that, take Corbett's advice: talk to your kids. Finally, we want to invite you to connect with other parents like yourself who are fighting to keep kids safe: join the Facebook group "Parents for Protecting Children Online."Labels: Child Predator, Facebook, internet safety, McGruff Safeguard, monitoring, online parenting, predators
posted by Nick Carter at 7:04 AM Link to this Article
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The Internet Generation: Younger and Younger
Friday, August 7, 2009
I was at my cousin's house. His son, four years old, was at the computer. "Oh, does he have some games on there he can play?" I asked my cousin. "No, checking email," The four-year-old quickly replied.
Checking email?!?! When I was four I dragged a corded phone, the only phone in our house, to my mom in the next room so she could dial the number to my friend's house. Who taught this kid to email? Who is he emailing with?
Parenting children of the Internet Generation has unique challenges, but many parents might be surprised just how young that generation really is. Nielsen did a study of children on the Internet starting as early as age 2 up to 11. They found these young children spending 63% more time on the Internet today than children of the same ages did 5 years ago. This young generation now represents nearly 10% of the overall online population, and it continues to grow faster than older demographics.
All of this amounts to one thing: protecting your children online may start earlier than you expect. No parent would place their child in a room stocked with pornography and weapons, resting assured that the child is safe because they don't know which drawer to open or under what mat to find the magazine. The Internet holds dangerous content, not to mention predators of all kinds, that are too easily discovered by entirely innocent behavior.
Consider the child, recently back from an exciting trip with dad to the car show in town. Can you imagine what he may find when he innocently searches the term "Hot Rod?" What would a six-year-old do when an email promises fun games if you only download the software attached? What would a ten-year-old do when a wealthy Nigerian businessman supposedly offers him millions for safe keeping?
Children ages 2 to 11 are online 63% more today than 5 years ago, and over half that time is spent watching video on sites like YouTube. It's never to early to begin educating children about the internet community, modeling safe behavior, and monitoring an active child on the Internet.Labels: education, internet safety, monitoring, online parenting, predators
posted by Nick Carter at 8:36 AM Link to this Article
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What's A Chat Room Anyway?
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
What is the first thing that comes to mind when we hear of this thing called a “ chat room?” For me, (I’m a visual person) I picture this invisible room of random strangers chatting away. Almost like some secret society. For some, it is a place to meet friends. Others may see it as a place to escape from real life if they aren’t happy with where they are. Some may be seeking like minds to share ideas and thoughts in a state of anonymity. And others use it as a platform to prey on the weak at heart, the insecure, and the young. There are vast differences for ‘reasons’ why someone may want to join a chat room. For those of you who have never been ‘in’ a virtual chat room, it may look something like the photo above. (Please click on picture for larger view.)
Usually, there is a box on the right of the screen which displays all the usernames of the people in the chat room. Some use their real name, others use a ‘screen name,’ and some use a fake name. However, unless you actually know the person in real life, you never truly know who you are talking to. That is why it is easy to use chat rooms for sting operations.
Internet predators can disguise themselves as anyone. It is for this reason McGruff Safeguard was created. So we can be informed on what is actually going on in the chat rooms our kids are entering. When I say “see what is going on,” I mean, McGruff Safeguard monitors and sends you conversations word for word. This is not to get them in trouble. It is to help you be INFORMED on what is going on in order to adjust your parenting strategies.
We care too much for our loved ones to let them get ‘snowed’ by some internet predator lingering in the shadow of a chat room. McGruff is here to help you keep your loved ones safe. Labels: chat room, internet safety, monitoring, online parenting, predators
posted by Lindsay Manfredi at 11:31 AM Link to this Article
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True Stories: "I felt a little guilty..."
We have met and spoken to countless parents--hundreds if not thousands--and there's a common sentiment that we'd like to bring out into the open. It's usually mentioned in about the same fashion. We're sharing about our product. The parent is nodding in agreement. Then they pause. They lean in closer. And, in a lower voice, the parent asks: "so, is this like spying on my kids?"
In my mother-in-law's home, the window over the kitchen sink provides a panoramic view of the entire back yard. It's far beyond a child's ability to understand the luminosity and reflections that prevent them from seeing in, even while mom can see out quite clearly. She watches her son play. She watches him break the rules. The punishment ensues. Was she spying?
Of course not. When a child ventures outside, there's risk involved. And, where risk is involved, monitoring is not just permissible, it's required. The same is true on the internet. The internet is a neighborhood, not unlike your backyard, but with infinitely more neighbors, more ways to "play" with them, and less ways for you to monitor you kids' activities.
One parent wrote to us about her initial trepidation, "I felt a little guilty." But, as you'll read, McGruff SafeGuard let this mom see the encouraging results of her adolescent son making the right decisions. It also let her help him avoid the wrong ones. But ultimately, what we all want is to impart the wisdom to know the difference.
"Let me start by saying this is the best $30.00 I have ever spent. I have two stories to share. The first is a happy one for any parent to know. My son a freshman in HS goes to a roller rink every Fri. I'm not clueless I know the drugs are there but you just hope your kids not the one. My son came home early one night and wouldn't say why he just seemed mad. Later I checked the service to find out why he was mad. He was mad because some of his friends went and left to do drugs. He wrote to his other friend that they were a waste of his time and he was not going to go with them again. I was so happy to read this message. Another time some kids were going to have a sleep over and he added that his parents would not be home. It was good to know that and put a stop to the sleep over. I felt a little guilty when I first put it in but the feeling of safety has won me over as well as the other people I have told about this. I hope you can get the word out to other parents and still keep the kids in the dark about your product. It is nice that they don’t know it is there. Thank you again." Labels: internet safety, McGruff Safeguard, monitoring, online parenting, True Stories
posted by Nick Carter at 7:21 AM Link to this Article
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Do You Speak Chat? Your Kids Do.
Thursday, July 30, 2009
We recently reported on the tragic story of airman Christopher Stevens sexual solicitation of a minor. The sad fact is that, had the parents been monitoring their daughter's online activity, the event may have been averted. Or could it?
The advent of rapid textual communication like chat, IM, and now Twitter has evolved an entirely new language, or subset of the English language, that children are far more fluent in than adults. Do you speak chat? Would the parents of the victim have been able to identify the danger looming from the jargon they might have read?
I'm sure we all know a little. You'd have to live under a rock not to understand LOL. But what about the slightly more vulgar LMAO? If you could translate that, you might not even want your kids to read the profanity I just posted. But if you're scratching your head over it, then there could be an entire code language that totally eludes your ability to supervise.
OMG i think i <3 u... LMIRL
If you can decipher, great. If you can't, start studying. McGruff SafeGuard has a free "Kidsaurus" that is an expansive dictionary to acronyms such as these, as well as emoticons (smiley faces) that have significant meaning as well.Labels: acronyms, kidsaurus, McGruff Safeguard, monitoring
posted by Nick Carter at 10:48 AM Link to this Article
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Air Force Airman Caught Soliciting a Minor
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Internet safety took another blow this summer as US Airforce airman Christopher Stevens has been charged with child enticement to engage in sexual activity. The story's details are so frighteningly unassuming, parents shudder to think how this can happen so easily on social media sites intended for harmless fun. But it did. And the quiet town of Stow, MA, will never forget how deep such danger can strike.
Police say the solicitation began on Facebook. In a community where "friends" are easy to find and engage, Stevens began sending messages of a sexual nature to the young girl, only fourteen years old. Based on the content of the messages, it was no misunderstanding that Stevens was interacting with an underage girl. The pursuit continued nonetheless.
When parents reported their daughter missing at 11:00 PM one Friday night in June, the police were fortunate to find a cell phone left behind. It contained text messages with explicit sexual content and exact locations of their rendezvous. "Had we not found her, we don't know how troubling this could have been." commented District Attorney Gerry Leone.
The communication had begun on Facebook, and online communication continued for months before finally leading to the dreaded LMIRL ("Lets Meet in Real Life"). But investigators say it could have been avoided. The content of the messages made it painfully obvious that Stevens was soliciting a minor. But, left to develop without supervision, this secret online relationship quickly grew out of hand.
At McGruff SafeGuard, it's these tragedies which are so preventable which give us passion for what we do. Parenting children online requires the same boundaries and supervision as parenting children offline. We invite parents to become a "fan" of McGruff Safeguard: Take a Bite Out of Internet Danger on Facebook. Share your thoughts, concerns, and questions with us. Let's work together to make the internet a safer community for kids.Labels: Facebook, internet safety, monitoring, online parenting
posted by Nick Carter at 9:26 AM Link to this Article
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Photos and Internet Safety
Thursday, July 23, 2009
I have been speaking to parents lately who differ so vastly in their views of Internet safety. This scares to me to a degree. Here is why. I have quite a few friends on Facebook and I am friends with their kids as well. Facebook is one of the world’s largest social networking sites. There are more than 250 million active users on Facebook, and 120 million of those users visit the site at least once a day. (I am included.) Something that has raised concern with many parents are photos. There are millions of photos on Facebook.
Kids now have cameras on their phones, some have them on their computers, and there is also your regular digital camera that allows you to instantaneously upload photos online. Photos that may be 'harmless' in a teenagers eye could be a playground of eye candy for some audiences, and that's not good.
Facebook also has an application called ‘Bumper Stickers.’ This is an area full of stickers or ‘photos’ that your child can post to their profile page. The stickers chosen usually tell a lot about the personality of the child and what they are ‘into.’ I kind of freaked out over some of the bumper stickers that our kids can choose from. And unless we are on these sites, we don’t really know what they are exposed to. I was shocked to see how easy it is for our kids to see inappropriate photos online.
Now, to a degree, this is not Facebook’s fault. Anyone can upload a bumper sticker and it may be a day or two before Facebook becomes aware of inappropriate stickers and take them down. Facebook also allows you to report inappropriate stickers if you see something before they do.
Now, some parents may just think the solution to this would be to keep them off the site altogether. And though we may be tempted, do we really want to keep our kids in a closet? Okay, perhaps ;-), but is it really HEALTHY to keep them in a closet? One of the most difficult challenges in life can be finding that “democratic” balance. The most successful stories I’ve come across are those parents who have good communication with their kids and also participate in Internet monitoring.
When your child or teenager is given the opportunity to use this, or any other social networking site, it may be a good idea to have a conversation with them about the photos. I would suggest monitoring the photos they post as well as monitor their friends’ photos. If there is something you find that could be a little risque or something you are not comfortable with, have your child take it down. This could also apply to the bumper stickers.
I find sometimes that it is better to hang closer to the ‘safe’ side versus the ‘it’s harmless’ side.
The Internet is definitely a dangerous place, but at the same time, it is also a world of knowledge. I can’t stress how important it is to educate our kids on Internet safety.
Have you ever had to have any conversations with your kids about photos? Please share them.Labels: Facebook, internet safety, monitoring, photos
posted by Lindsay Manfredi at 4:49 AM Link to this Article
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